If someone is sneezing, understand that her heart is seizing up, her eyes are shut, and she’s at her most physically vulnerable for at least a second.
*I'd suggest Mrs. Meyer's, because its delightful. *
When one, two, three, four people have walked through the door without so much as a NOD of graciousness, I go insane. I wasn't hired by the entire St. Patrick’s Day Parade as an inanimate door stop for their coffee break at Starbucks. I do not just stand in doorways for fun.
The first bite is sacred
If your group is larger than two, congrats (there's no way you like more than one person in it). No matter your relations, respect my right to walk alone, unimpeded, in the other direction and don't spill more than two wide.
I need a picture so I know whether you think I'm hot or not
Conversely don't get pissed off if someone mentions a spoiler about something like The Wire. You had plenty of time to watch it.
Sometimes, when I’m standing in line, the eager person behind me moves forward so quickly, before I know it, I’m wearing said person as a backpack.
More often than not, we actually love when plans are cancelled on us. Checking in the day before gives each party a chance to back out drama-free.
It's the weekend. I only have 48 hours to take my mind off of work, let's not give it the time of day. Better yet, let's not talk about jobs at all. Unless your a stuntman. Or Beyonce.